By Debra Gould As the poet Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:
"Finish each day and be done with it." There’s nothing more comforting than coming home after a bad day to find your loving partner waiting with a sympathetic ear (and maybe even a glass of wine). But then there are those days when you both come home needing love and patience – the problem then is that it’s hard for either of you to give it. Add to that the responsibilities of family life and two bad moods, which can cause a clash and bad feelings over – nothing. Or, possibly, the argument is over something that should be talked about at a time when you’re both ready to deal with a more contentious subject. It’s hard to have perspective on difficult days. But for the sake of your relationship and out of respect for each other, don’t go to bed mad. As tempting as it might be to simply roll away and turn out the lights, this is not healthy for the body, mind, or marriage. Anger fuels the creation of cortisol, the stress hormone. Cortisol is linked to chronic diseases such as high blood pressure and cancers. Learning to let go of strife might not only save your marriage, it could literally save your life. If you ever find yourself harboring bedtime anger, consider the following:
Most of all, remember that holding onto anger is a habit that will ultimately tear two people apart. On the other hand, love, compassion, and generosity of spirit are guaranteed to hold you together. Debra W. Gould, MS is the president of Debra Gould & Associates, Inc., based in New Orleans, and provides management consulting and training services to commercial and government clients. Debra is one of the founders of The Ebony Speakers and co-author of the book Real Women, Real Issues - Positive Collaborations For Business Success.
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By Michelle Porchia In our fast-paced world, the ability to effectively utilize resources is a valuable skill that can greatly contribute to personal and professional success. Whether it's time, energy, knowledge, or tangible assets, understanding how to leverage resources can make a significant difference in achieving our goals and making a positive impact on those around us. In this blog, I will explore the dual concept of using resources wisely and being a resource for others.
I have been a part of the Ebony Speakers for over 10 years. During that time, my role in my business has dramatically changed. Honestly, I felt I didn’t have much to offer the other Ebony Speakers at this point. I was willing to bow out as part of the mastermind. My fellow speakers encouraged me to stay and said I was a viable resource. I was sharing information about Medicare, insurance coverage, apps that help with organizing your grocery lists, tasks, etc. I was reminded that I brought a new and different perspective that the Ebony Speakers also needed. One of our speakers, Nancy J. Lewis continues to remind us about reinventing ourselves. I guess becoming a resource on a totally different area is reinventing myself. My neighbor, whom I speak with when we walk our dogs, said she always learns something new from me when we talk. I’m starting to embrace my new role as a “resourceful individual.” Using Resources Wisely:
Conclusion: In the dynamic landscape of life, the art of using resources wisely and being a resource for others is a continuous journey. By adopting a mindful and strategic approach to resource management, individuals can enhance their personal and professional lives while contributing to the well-being of their communities. As we navigate the complexities of the modern world, let us strive to be resourceful individuals who make a positive impact on the world around us. Nancy J. Lewis, MS, SHRM-CP, PHR, RCC www.progressivetechniquesinc.com The workplace of today is filled with confusion, chaos, and uncertainty, and COVID-19 simply added more challenges to the equation. Quiet quitting, the great resignation, hybrid, remote or in person work has created obstacles for navigating real change that is impacting recruiting and retaining talent. It is more important than ever before to develop strategies for navigating and surviving the winds of workplace change. Every time you pick up the newspaper or business journal, you see the difficult plight occurring in the world of work. As we struggle to find the right course to keep our careers, jobs, and businesses on track in this new normal post-COVID, consider the following four steps on your journey in coping with change.
By Debra Gould There's nothing like family, and Ebony Speaker Debra Gould shows us how thankful she is for spending time with her son and his family in Northern California during the Thanksgiving holidays. She traveled from her home in New Orleans and enjoyed the warm California sunshine cooking, singing with Pandora radio, and jamming on Johnny Taylor and Classic Soul BBQ radio station. She reflected on her beloved late husband, Joe Gould II, singing and dancing to the popular group Maze and refereeing every football game on Thanksgiving day. Debra misses her husband but is thankful for their love through the decades. Her son, Joe Gould III, brings her the joy that only a mother feels for her child throughout the years. And now her grandson, Joe Gould IV, is showcasing his talents as a point guard at Contra Costa College. He is a first-year student and has already been voted the Captain of his basketball team while maintaining a 3.5 GPA this semester. Joe's days are long at school, yet he brilliantly balances his academic activities with his athletic pursuits and an active social life with his girlfriend. Church has always been a priority for Debra and her family, and during her Thanksgiving visit, she worshipped at Mount Calvary Baptist Church, where the Rev. Dr. Clayborn Lea is the pastor. On behalf of the entire Gould family, Debra wishes everyone a blessed holiday season and a joyous New Year throughout 2024!
By Carole Copeland Thomas
What This Video!
I decided some time ago to determine how many countries I wanted to visit before I died. Now, I don't plan on dying anytime soon… But I still want to visit the world and see more people and cultures along the way. My original goal was to visit 50 countries. But now I've already hit 26 countries, so I am expanding my goal to at least 75.
I recorded this short video on my August 2023 trip to Montserrat, the 26th country I have visited. I had a marvelous time both in Antigua and Montserrat. They represent destinations that make me grow as a DEIB professional and a citizen of the world. What are your life goals? Where do you want to travel in life? How can you get there? Perhaps you need to start planning now for a trip you may not take for five years. Whatever it takes, go on out there and determine what your life goal will be and how you will accomplish it. I'm next headed to the Middle East, the Mediterranean, and many other places along the way. May you find some inspiration to take your life in new directions. Go on and make it happen! You have what it takes to expand your horizons!! By Debra W. Gould, MS As a leader, do you realize that every action you take and every interaction you have leaves a lasting impact on others? You can have the best of intentions, but if your impact isn't aligned with the intention, then your leadership may not be as effective as it could be. Why? Because in the end, what matters is not who you think you are but the experience that other people have with you. Your impact leaves a lasting mark, and in this blog, we share these steps to ensure you have a positive impact.
1. Detail the kind of impact you want to have. Most leaders have never detailed their personal creed, but doing so can be incredibly powerful. Therefore, get clear about who you think you are. Who are you, and what do you stand for? What do you value? What is your personal creed or stance in the roles that are most important to you in your life? How do you want to be known in your company and industry? Once you have those questions answered, ask the most important question of all: "How do the things I just detailed show up when I'm frustrated or when things aren't going well? Who am I then?" It's easy to be all of those lovely things when everything is going well. But what about when things aren't going well? How do you want to show up during the hard times? How do you want to be known when things are tough? How do you want people to experience you in the midst of adversity? Most leaders lose credibility when things are bad because they haven't thought about who they are in those situations and the kind of impact they'll have. 2. Change your impact, not yourself. If the results of the feedback you receive don't align with your personal perceptions about yourself, it's time to make some changes-not to you but to your impact. As long as the new approach you try supports your values and what you deem as important, then you're acting with integrity and in alignment with your goals. In closing, find out how others view your impact. An example of a direct approach is talking with someone you trust face-to-face and asking specific questions so you can get key insights. ===== Debra W. Gould, MS is the president of Debra Gould & Associates, Inc., based in New Orleans, and provides management consulting and training services to commercial and government clients. Debra is one of the founders of The Ebony Speakers and co-author of the book Real Women, Real Issues - Positive Collaborations For Business Success. Debra can be reached at (504) 244-6576 email: djgould@gouldassoc.com and website: www:gouldassoc.com By Michelle Porchia In the past, I’ve written a few articles comparing gardening to business practices. With your permission, I will continue that theme in this blog. In the process, I encourage you to consider gardening, even if it is one pot of herbs, like basil. This encourages you to use gardening to take time for yourself and do something that is relaxing and enjoyable.
Once again, I’m behind the planting calendar for getting my seeds in the pot to start germinating for spring, and that’s ok. As long as the seeds get into the dirt and get cared for, hopefully, they will grow. Debra Gould, Debra Gould and Associates, and a member of Ebony Speakers, in her “Mindful Magic” blog series, she talks about using various skills to be successful in business. (Stress management, motivation, and monitoring your thoughts, to name a few.) I’m reviewing the knowledge and experience I have gained from the past three years of gardening, and I hope to have a beautiful and fruitful garden this year if the weather cooperates. As we grow our businesses, we need to tap into our various skills, tools, and experiences. What are the new lessons?
As you continue in 2023, may your business grow and thrive. My wish for you is that you make a difference, take time for yourself, and enjoy the journey. Nancy J. Lewis, MS, SHRM-CP, PHR, RCC Authenticity is key to building sustainable and meaningful relationships, whether in professional or personal settings. Authenticity is key as we reflect on Black History Month (which should be all year) and celebrate Women’s History Month. Authenticity is about being genuine and true to your core values no matter what. In today's world, we often have difficulty being authentic and transparent because it can come back and impact our careers. Sometimes authenticity is not appreciated or celebrated because things are being done or said that makes others uncomfortable. Consider the following questions on authenticity as it relates to your world:
1. Does the culture of your organization support and embrace authenticity? 2. Are people encouraged to bring their whole selves to work? 3. Are leaders authentic in your workplace? 4. How is failure viewed in your organization? 5. Can authenticity and transparency be a reality for your organization? Something to ponder as you realize the value authenticity can bring to your company. Authenticity has been linked to better work performance, engagement, and total wellness of employees. That is a good enough reason to create a culture that is open to employees being authentic in the workplace. We lose creative ideas, develop silos, and polarize work teams when we fail to embrace this important but elusive attribute. I want to share five things to remember about authenticity. 1. Authenticity is about doing and saying the right thing even when it is unpopular. 2. Authenticity is about being consistent with who you are no matter where you are. 3. Authenticity is about knowing what the non-negotiables are in your life. 4. Authenticity is about encouraging others as you operate from the abundance mentality. 5. Authenticity is about knowing how to lead from your heart. Strive to live authentically as you move forward to greater success, peace, and love. One of my Nancyisms is, "Do you because everybody else is taken." By Carole Copeland Thomas
Five international holidays converge on the scene every December (and early January) to make our schedules hectic, exciting, and pressure-filled. Wrapping gifts while shopping at odd hours of the night either pushes us into the spirit of happiness OR helps us find an escape path until all of the celebrations are over. Here are related links to five holidays with religious and nonreligious implications. You'll learn interesting facts and figures that will make you scratch your head in amazement. The marathon includes Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and Three Kings Day. Learn new traditions and pass them on as the merriment continues throughout the holiday season. May you celebrate the Season and get ready for an awe-inspiring 2023! -Carole Copeland Thomas ========== Links and Resources For The Five Holidays 1 Hanukkah https://www.chabad.org/holidays/chanukah/article_cdo/aid/3840625/jewish/13-Hanukkah-Facts-Every-Jew-Should-Know.htm?gclid=CjwKCAiAmO3gBRBBEiwA8d0Q4pDJz2VX1LG1_sN0V5SAZbinichpFp5px9yfA6E7saEpk0daVFLqnRoCncwQAvD_BwE 2 Winter Solstice https://www.farmersalmanac.com/get-ready-for-the-winter-solstice-23294 3 Christmas Parenting Article Written For Kids https://parenting.firstcry.com/articles/20-interesting-facts-and-information-about-christmas-for-kids/ Inc Magazine https://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/10-weird-facts-about-christmas.html History of the Christmas Tree https://www.historytoday.com/alison-barnes/first-christmas-tree 4 Kwanzaa Official Website: https://www.officialkwanzaawebsite.org/index.html 5 Three Kings Day https://www.newsweek.com/when-three-kings-day-and-how-it-celebrated-epiphany-772690 By Debra Gould Men hate each other because they fear each other, and they fear each other because they don’t know each other, and they don’t know each other because they are often separated from each other.”-Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mentioning Diversity- It doesn’t matter how easy to get along with what we believe we are; there will come a time when someone or something challenges that belief. Usually, the challenge is related to one or more of the cultural landmines outlined below. Look at the continuum and mark an “X” on the spot where you believe you fall from 1 to 5. Cultural Landmines: Achievement Relationship to Personal Physically Distant to Physically Close Linear Time to Non-Linear Time Authoritarian to Democratic Direct Communicator to Indirect Communicator My Goals to Our Goals Aggressive Attitude to Passive Attitude SO, what do you do if one of these landmines explodes in the workplace or in your personal life? The WAY you communicate is going to be very important. Use the following steps as your guide: · Provide feedback that gives the person information about the IMPACT of their behavior · Use “I” statements · Make a clear request for the person to discontinue making those statements or exhibiting that behavior in your presence · Inform the person of the consequences of continuing to engage in offensive speech or behavior The Minute-Being mindful of your diversity assessment-What do you think and feel about this? What do you do about this? Is there anything you would like to do differently about this in the future? The Meeting of the Mindful-for fuller minds and moving organizations…please contact ============== Debra W. Gould, MS is the president of Debra Gould & Associates, Inc. (DGAI) based in New Orleans, LA. DGAI is a Performance Management company that provides management consulting, training, facilitating, customer focus group, community outreach programs, research/analysis, and executive coaching services to commercial and government clients. Debra can be reached at (504) 460-9641 email: djgould@gouldassoc.com and website: www:gouldassoc.com |
Book Debra, Michelle, Nancy or Carole for your next speaking engagement or training event.
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