• Home
  • Ebony Speakers' Blog
  • Ebony Speakers Book
  • Meet Them All
    • About Us >
      • Vision, Values & Mission
    • Debra Gould >
      • Debra's Photo Gallery
    • Nancy Lewis >
      • Nancy's Photo Gallery
    • Michelle Porchia >
      • Michelle's Photo Gallery
    • Carole Copeland Thomas
  • Contact Us
E B O N Y   S P E A K E R S
  • Home
  • Ebony Speakers' Blog
  • Ebony Speakers Book
  • Meet Them All
    • About Us >
      • Vision, Values & Mission
    • Debra Gould >
      • Debra's Photo Gallery
    • Nancy Lewis >
      • Nancy's Photo Gallery
    • Michelle Porchia >
      • Michelle's Photo Gallery
    • Carole Copeland Thomas
  • Contact Us

Marriage Success: Commitment #1--Building The Foundation

10/6/2019

0 Comments

 
By Debra Gould, MS
​Part One In A Four Part Series
Picture
Making sure you have a foundation you can build on.
Falling in love is one of the most glorious experiences in life. It feels like a miracle to find that person who makes you even happier and stronger than you are on your own. That person who inspires you to be your best self.

​There is no doubt true love is a force of nature, one to be protected, exalted, and sanctified by commitment.

But before you take the step of making vows, you may also want to consider the many hard lessons learned by couples like Joe and I who have been married for decades. These are lessons that can help you avoid pitfalls that can derail even the deepest love.



In my experience, the number one thing you have to know before you get married: yourself.


You must know who you are, why you are like you are, what you want from life and, just as importantly, what you don’t. Understanding yourself, your priorities, and your motivations – the good and the bad – will help you know whether you and your partner are truly right for each other.


Once you fully understand yourself at this stage in your life, you can move on the next foundation of commitment: shared values.


It doesn’t matter if your partner likes a different kind of music, a different kind of food, or has an old friend you don’t care for. More important is whether your partner sees your life together the way you do.  Make sure you have similar attitudes in all the important areas: money, faith, children, and family. You need to know that you’re both envisioning the same future and believe in the same goals -- otherwise you may never reach them.


And finally, the thing that all relationships should be based on: respect.

Speak with respect, listen with respect, treat each other with the patience, generosity, and kindness that show respect. This is what will keep love alive, especially through hard times.
I promise you, if you do all three of these things, you will lay the foundations for a happier, healthier, more supportive marriage.

========================
Debra W. Gould, MS is the president of Debra Gould & Associates, Inc. based in New Orleans and provides management consulting and training services to commercial and government clients.  Debra is one of the founders of The Ebony Speakers and co-author of the book, Real Women, Real Issues - Positive Collaborations For Business Success.

​Debra can be reached at: (504) 244-6576,

email: djgould@gouldassoc.com and
website:  www:gouldassoc.com

0 Comments

Strength Through The Challenge (Inaugural)

9/13/2017

0 Comments

 
By Joe and Debra Gould
PictureDebra and Joe Gould
Please join Joe and Debra for an engaging conversation at STTC on www.Zoom.com every Tuesday @ 7:30PM CST for 25 minutes.
Mission: This program is about marriage relationships that works even through the challenge.   
Purpose:  STTC is really for anyone who wants or have a strong relationship.  We talk about what can possibly create a strong and sustainable marriage and relationship that works.  In addition, we ask for feedback from others on what works for them.  Every week we will invite guests to join the program to share information about their relationships and listen to the engaging conversations.   
We will have engaging conversations with our guests to share information on how they are making their love and marriage relationship work even through the challenge.  What message can they share with others? What do they do to stay together during the tough times? The good times? We want to invite guests that will tell it like it is and keep it real from young to mature adults.


The Interview

Guests:  Clinton/Kelly Smith, Milton/Sheila Brown and Ronald/Voris Vigee
Picture
Building a strong relationship means not simply going through problems but growing through problems…..as your relationship grows you develop your strength through the challenge.  Our relationship success comes from doing what other people unsuccessful relationships are not willing to do.  We don’t wish it were better. We work on the possibility of a better relationship.


 It was absolutely a great time to connect in an engaging conversation with couple friends that we highly respect and have known for many years.  We consider them to be some wonderful people,  couples to hang out and socialize with at events, friends helping each other, and a support system in our network.
 Below are a few questions we talked about during our Tuesday night of September 5, 2017 STTC interview with friends.
  1. Do you have a regular schedule to exercise together and stay physically fit to energize your relationship? (Clinton and Kelly Smith) Clinton: Ironically, just before STTC program tonight we had finished a biking 15 minutes ago.  We enjoy both biking and walking to discuss some of the tough issues that challenge our day.  A walk and talk helps to release the stress and get us back on track.
 Kelly:  We truly enjoy this precious time to walk together.  While we have not worked out on a regular schedule we have manage well to stay physically fit as a couple together. Keeping in shape is important and biking and walking are those things that we have incorporated and working well.

 2. Do you seek out to surround your marriage with good role models and couples who will keep you honest? (Milton and Sheila Brown)
 Milton: Yes, we make it a point to surround our life with like-minded individuals that help us to grow as a couple. 
 Sheila:  I prayed to God for this specific prayer many years ago to bring couples into our lives that are Christian people, kind, friendly and enjoy travelling.  I can honestly for sure say we have found those friends and family members in our network and we have FUN together.

 3. In your marriage relationship, “How do you agree to preserve peace and harmony in your home? (Ronald and Voris Vigee)
 Ronald:  Communication is the key. When we disagree as a couple, it is so important to address the concerns head on and talk it out. 
 Voris:  I have learned that “Compromise” is #1 in the household. That’s what makes the peace and harmony that works all the time.

 4. Is it easy to thank God for your partner every day? ALL Couples
​
 Clinton: Exceptional easy to say that I thank God for Kelly.  While I don’t get on my knees to pray and I pray in bed I’m thinking about how blessed I am to have her in my life.  I was married once before and this time around I know it is a right fit for my life.  Together we have a beautiful daughter we are so proud of and we are great together.
 
Kelly: As we are aging we are taking inventory of what we are grateful for in our lives.  I’m thankful for Clinton and our family.  Life is wonderful with him and yes, I thank God for him.

 
Milton: One couple pulling in a separate way is not going to make it at all.  I can say we are going in the same direction both Milton and Sheila Brown.  Thank God for blessing me with a loving wife and partner every day.

 
Sheila: Honestly and we are being open in this conversation.  It is not easy every day.  Every day I do it to say "I love you" to Milton Brown because I mean it from the bottom of my heart.  My first marriage was very bad and I will leave it at that.  There will be no other man after Mr. Milton Brown.

 
Ronald: I love everything about Voris.  She is an incredible woman and I love her and adore our kids.

 
Voris: Nothing is easy. Everything in a marriage relationship requires work. I love my husband and so happy and proud to have our three kids we have together. Ronald is the love of my life.

0 Comments

    Book Debra, Michelle, Nancy or Carole for your next speaking engagement or training event.
    Click Here 
    For Details

    =======

    New Post Each Week

    Each week this blog posting will give you the strength and courage to press forward on your job, in your personal life, with your family and in your community. As Ebony Speakers we want to celebrate your victories and share in the painful impact of your challenges and difficulties.

    Archives

    December 2022
    June 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    June 2021
    May 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    February 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013

    Categories

    All
    1862
    1863
    2014
    2015
    2016
    2017
    2018
    2019
    2021
    3 C's
    Abraham Lincoln
    Accomplishments
    Accountability
    Achieving Goals
    Acknowledgment
    Action
    Advice
    African American
    African Methodist Episcopal Church
    Age Issues
    Alex Haley
    Ame
    Ame India
    Anger
    Appearance
    Arguments
    Ask Permission
    Attitude
    Authenticity
    Awareness
    Back To School
    Bad Customer Service
    Barack Obama
    Basic Principles
    Being Professional
    Beintentional
    Be Still
    Beth Williams
    Better Listening
    Beyonce
    Bill Wells
    Bishop John Bryant
    Black
    Black History Month
    Blessings
    Blind
    Blood Pressure
    Book
    Brand
    Building Repport
    Business
    Business Professionals
    Career
    Careers
    Caring
    Carole Copeland Thomas
    Carter G. Woodson
    Caste
    Cemetery
    Change
    Chapters
    Charleston South Carolina
    Chennai
    Christmas
    Church
    Civil Rights
    Civil War
    Clients
    Coaching
    Collaboration
    Colonel Harland Sanders
    Commitment
    Communication
    Communications
    Compassion
    Confederate Flag
    Conference
    Confidence
    Connections
    Contemplation
    Counseling
    Couple Ministry
    Couples
    Courage
    Courtesy
    Customer Service
    Dead
    Debra Gould
    Decoration Day
    Determination
    Detroit
    Detroit Michigan
    Diabetes
    Diana Nyad
    Diet
    Disappointments
    Diversity
    Dog
    Dogs
    Doing Better In The New Year
    Donald Trump
    Dreams
    Ebola
    Ebony Speakers
    Economize
    Education
    Effective Meetings
    Election
    Elizabeth Blackwell
    Ellis Lindsey
    Emanuel Ame Church
    Emotion
    Employee
    Employment
    Empowerment
    Encouragement
    Endurance Sports
    Entrepreneur
    Entrepreneurs
    Essentials
    Ethnic
    Europa
    Europe
    Event
    Excuses
    Exercise
    Expectations
    Failure
    Faith Based
    Families
    Family
    Fear
    First Impressions
    Fitness
    Funeral
    Gender Bias
    Georgia
    Giving Feedback
    Goal
    Goals And Objectives
    Goal Setting
    God
    Grandmother
    Great Customer Service
    Group
    Harmony
    Harvard
    Harvey Weinstein
    Hatred
    Health
    Healthcare
    Health Insurance
    Heart Healthy
    Hero
    High School Students
    Hillary Clinton
    HIPAA
    History
    Holiday
    Holidays
    Honesty
    Humor
    Ideas
    Image
    India
    Indian
    Individuals
    Innergize Day
    Integrity
    Intentional
    Intentional Life
    Intentional Networking
    Italy
    Job
    Joe Gould
    Joe Gould Jr
    Journaling
    Journalism
    Jshop
    Julianna Farquharson
    Kamala Harris
    Karla Cooper
    Keeper
    Keep Promises
    Kita
    Kunta Kinte
    Lamscd
    Language
    Larry Johnson
    Latoyia Edwards
    Leadership
    Lessons Learned
    Life
    Life Chapters
    Lifelong Learning
    Listen
    Listening
    Little Things
    Love
    Lynda Parham
    Mad
    Management
    Marian Anderson
    Marriage
    Martin Luther King Jr
    Mary Kay Ash
    Matt Lauer
    Medicar
    Medicare
    Meeting
    Mellody Hobson
    Memorial Day
    Mental Challenges
    Mentor
    Mentoring
    Met Gala
    Metropolitan Museum Of Arts Costume Institute
    Michelle Porchia
    Ministry
    Mississippi
    Motivation
    Moving On
    Multicultural
    Multicultural Conference
    Multiculural Symposium Series
    Nancy Lewis
    National Association Of Black Journalists
    National Womens March
    Negotiate
    Negotiations
    Networking
    New Year
    New Years Eve
    New Year's Resolution
    New York
    No More Excuses
    North Carolina
    November 2 Multicultural Conference
    November 5 Multicultural Conference
    November 6 Multicultural Conference
    Nursing
    Paradigm Shift
    Passion
    Pastor Fred Luter Jr
    Permission
    Personal Goals
    Perspective
    Persuade
    Persuasiveness
    Pet
    Phone
    Phone Tips
    Photo Gallery
    Plan B
    Politics
    Positioning
    Position Yourself
    Positive Attitude
    Positive Work Relationship
    Power
    Power Of Attorney
    Power Of Words
    Preach
    Presidential Election 2016
    Procrastination
    Professionalism
    Purpose
    Race
    Racism
    Rapport
    Reaching Your Goal
    Refresh
    Relationships
    Relax
    Relaxation
    Renew Your Mind
    Reposition Yourself
    Respect
    Responsibility
    Rest
    Retail
    Retool
    Rev Cecilia Bryant
    Rev Katherine Brooks
    Roots
    Russell Lacour
    Scarcity
    School
    School Systems
    Seasonal Affective Disorder
    Seasonal Depression
    Self Worth
    September 24
    Service
    Setbacks
    Sexual Assault
    Sexual Harassment
    Shame
    Siesta
    Sister
    Solopreneurs
    South Asian
    South Carolina
    Spain
    Speakers
    Speaking
    Speech
    Spiritual
    Spiritual Foundation
    State Street Corporation
    St Paul AME Church Detroit
    Strategies
    Strength
    Strength Through The Challenge
    Stress
    Students
    Success
    Summer
    Support
    Swimming
    Take A Break
    Talking
    Team
    Team Goal Setting
    Testament
    Thanksgiving
    Thought Leadership
    Tool Box
    Training
    Tranquility
    True
    Trust
    Truth
    Turning 65 Years Old
    Ugly
    Uplug
    Vacation
    Veterans Day
    Vice President
    Victim
    Video
    Volunteer
    Vote
    Voting
    Walt Disney
    Washington Dc
    Watch Night Services
    Webinar
    Week
    Wellness
    West Africa
    Who We Are
    Will
    William Wells
    Winning
    Women
    Words
    Work
    Work Life Balance
    Workplace

    RSS Feed

©2023 Ebony Speakers All Rights Reserved  Email: speaker@ebonyspeakers.com •  Phone: (504) 460-9641  
  • Home
  • Ebony Speakers' Blog
  • Ebony Speakers Book
  • Meet Them All
    • About Us >
      • Vision, Values & Mission
    • Debra Gould >
      • Debra's Photo Gallery
    • Nancy Lewis >
      • Nancy's Photo Gallery
    • Michelle Porchia >
      • Michelle's Photo Gallery
    • Carole Copeland Thomas
  • Contact Us